By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
