at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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