Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
