Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
