he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
