you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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