he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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