I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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