This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
