weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
