I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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