My room smells like vodka and shame
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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