Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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