If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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