I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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