have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
