I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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