It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
