He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Congratulations! We have a period
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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