In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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