im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
