D3 body, D1 cock
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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