fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
