Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
