My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
