I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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