im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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