I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
