i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
