STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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