I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The uberlube is also flammable
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize