I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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