I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
