Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
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BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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