i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
