I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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