Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize