Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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