My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
