I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
