i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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