I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
