jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
