T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
