Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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