it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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