I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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