Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
