it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The air was thick with penises
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
