he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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