if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
