i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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