we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
