She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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