Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
