im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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