Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize