yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
