wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
