Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
