I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
