Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
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my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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