im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
