They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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