Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize